earth kitt rest in peace

i start by saying happy holidays to everyone whose eyes run past these words. i hope that all of you who were expecting gifts received them and if not you probably didn't deserve them you greedy mofos. just kidding of course i simply enjoy using the term mofo.

but i also write this with a heavy heart. I read earlier that Earth Kitt passed away today at the age of 81. we all remember ms. kitt for a number of reasons and i'd like to remind us all of some of my fav. eartha kitt moments hopefully she will receive the eternal christmas gift. rest in peace to the talented ms. eartha kitt.

5. c'est si bon

she's skills it here, singing in french. cabaret at its finest and of course she's rolling those r's like other.

4.as yzma in the emperor's new groove

i never knew this was her in the film. her character was pretty badass. underrated disney villain.

3.catwoman

the list wouldn't be complete without this slot. having a sister on tv back then on such a popular program was without a major move

2. santa baby

i remember hearing everybody and their mama doing this song. who knew eartha kitt's version was the best. her distinct voice once again shined.

1. lady eloise in boomerang

this is my first memory of eartha kitt. hilariously played role. the scenes of her and eddie together were fantastic. i was thinking damn this old lady has some game.

next stop dubai
peace.love.funk

best gifts ever!!!

as i started to write this, the sky almost simultaneously opened up and rain began to fall angrily from the heavens. this has me thinking about how santa's red dolce suit and his bugatti sleigh deal with inclement weather. it's got me thinking about how the image of a giant white man chillin in my crib while i sleep still seems cool to the greater public. more importantly i thought about the christmas gifts that i've received over the years. sort of like those lexus commercials i present to you the list of favorite christmas gifts everrrrrr


5. orange banana republic cashmere v neck sweater.
this was my first step to a much needed style upgrade. my sister got this for me. i don't know if she was giving me a hint or help or both. regardless i wore this thing like it was a uniform. i rocked it jeans, slacks, ties, v neck tees, button downs, fitted caps, kangols, dunks, timbs, hard bottoms even basketball shorts on those slow days. the sweater is long gone and actually i recently purchased another one but its just not the same.
4. b- in literary theory course
the hardest course in my college career was literary theory. i took it with the department chair who was a brilliant man and let me say this: he was no joke. i was a young sophomore struggling mightily to understand derrida, deconstruction and différance (not difference). I knew a C was the absolute best i could get in the course. i took that final like it was a playoff game. i was sweating all types precipitation. when all said and done merry christmas to me mofo's! b-!!!

3. talking thriller view master
now this was truly the gift and the curse. i was a youngin when this item first touched my eyes. if you were a child when this classic video came out then you knew the fear that it evoked. i loved view masters, still do for that matter so when i first saw this gift one could only imagine the excitement. it was like watching a car accident. the images pained me so much but i couldn't take my eyes away. yo and the thing talked! imagine vincent price straight talking to you as child. see what i mean by gift and curse. i don't remember if mike spoke but he didn't have to. michael jackson plus view master equals visionary goodness!

2. my first bear bubble coat
the parental units were very protective of their youngest and only son. that meant no involvement in any activity of thuggery proportions. that included among many things bubble coats. it took a while but my folks finally gave in and copped me a bubble coat. only two bubble's mattered at the time bear and north face. bear was more popular at the time if i recall and my parents got it right. i was in high school but with that coat i truly became a man.

1. nintendo
as if there was ever a doubt. i was late in coppin my nintendo. i was about 3 to 4 years late but did i ever catch up. i played my fingers to the white meat. i'm talking contra, double dragon, tetris, teenage mutant ninja turtles, duck hunt and tecmo bowl. till this day i am nasty on tecmo bowl. bo jackson is untouchable. i would sing that tetris theme song in my sleep. there were dreams about me and the duck hunt dog straight chillin on the block. still my favorite system to date. love at first site. when the game didn't work i just put my lips together and blew! not if that isn't love i don't know what is.

just finished watching temptations, what a gift to my eyes

and to all a good night!!
peace.love.funk.

let's take it to broadway!!

i just received and watched a copy of hip hop monologues: inside the life and mind of jim jones. that's right jim jones. if you hadn't heard about a month ago jim jones, dipset capo, jimmy himself stars in his own play with music from his new album set as the backdrop. creative? yes. successful? nope! as a man who enjoys theater i must say the acting was a mess. even some of the rapping had me all confused. highlight for me was a group rendition of "this is for my bitches"
theatrical genius?
well this leads me to today's list. jimmy delved into theater and thus i ask what pieces of theater need to be produced. i present the top 5 plays or musicals that need to happen:

5.phantom of the urkel: the quest for princess winslow
can the love of nerd overcome the suave nature of his cooler sexier clone. who will princess winslow fall for? who will stop evil aunt rachel? where is judy? do the urkel dance!
choreographed by lil richie. nick cannon as steve urkel wesley jonathan (dude from "city guys" that looked just like cannon) as stephon

4. Rent
five rappers picked to live in house. see what happens when their career is over and they have to pay rent!!
starring cappadonna, black rob, gdep, dragon

3.the producers
tupac and biggie come back to life to make one epic album. where do they turn, to get their beats? who else but the producers!! beats from the east, beats from the west, beats from the south. beats beats beats
starring. dj premier, pete rock, kanye west, and dr dre,
special appearance from producer heaven: j dilla

2.legally blind the musical
welcome to the world behind the dark glasses. you will be introduced the explosiveness of a blind mind. see how a blind boy became one of the greatest if not the greatest musician in american history.
backdrop: songs in the key of life. thats all i need. you can throw whatever other albums you want.
on some real i'd actually go see this. i can imagine sir duke right now


and finally number 1
O
watch as a young prince shakes up the political world. he faces the evil witch turned good witch. he battles the old dirty wizard and cooky court jester in a final round to change the world and become king!
Music by the Roots
you all know we need that obama play to be on and poppinand the tony goes to...yayo for "g unit the musical
peace.love.funk.

best in the nba!!

the heated debate shall end here. it's snowing in the nyc and i am here watching the cleveland cavs smack the denver nuggets. i'd like to consider myself a knowledgeable basketball fan. so this list comes with pure objectivity and backed up by facts.

with that said here is the list of the top five players in the nba today as in RIGHT NOW. not all time, not throughout their career, not who will be the best. as of this snowy night who is the best player right now

5. Dwight Howard 20.8ppg, 14rpg
As a big man there is none more dominant. he will bang on anyone's head at anytime (ask tim duncan 2 nights ago.) he's strong on the glass and blocks shot with ease. he's tied for the lead in double doubles and oh yeah also leads in rebounds and blocks. this guy also has patrick ewing back there teaching him some lovely footwork in the post. so look out below big men.

4. chris paul 19.7ppg 11.9apg
let me start by saying that the best point guard argument starts and stops here. I don't wanna hear these deron williams comparisons anyomore. but let's talk about mr. paul. remember that double double list guess who's up there with dwight howard. yup chris paul. he leads the league in assists and carries his team almost like no other. he has that steve nash and jkidd in their prime factor. makes some semi talented guys look nice. (see kenyon martin and shawn marion and now tyson chandler). ah yes he also just broke the record for most games with at least one steal. all around phenomenal player with crazy eyebrows.

3. dwayne wade 28.ppg 5.1rpg 7.2apg.
this season only one person may be better than mr. wade. thus making it tough to put him here. but he has to be here. the nba's league leading scorer is back. this man gets to the paint as a guard better than anyone else. he's carrying a subpar team to a possible playoff spot. miami just beat the mighty lakers and that is simply because of wade. he has the most 30 point games this season and leads his team in blocks. and not to mention his dominant olympic performance. dwayne wade is back.



2. kobe bryant 25ppg 5.4 rpg 4.3apg
let the drama begin. kobe's skill cannot be denied. he can make any shot on the court, is reigning league mvp and his team has the third best record in the league and are defending western conference champs. ask me this question 2 years ago and it's not a discussion. even last year i'd probably have kobe at the top spot. he is still the most clutch player in the league. i was one who said that as soon as kobe signed on we were gonna get the olympic gold. late in the gold medal match he hit a four point play that was a dagger. his killer instinct is best in the league.although his numbers are down he is still dominant. he plays excellent defense and guards the best wing player on the other team late in games.he is probably the best wing man since jordan. he has the total package and has almost without any argument been the best player in the league over the last 4 to five years without doubt.


until now...
1. lebron james 27.3 ppg 6.7 rpg 6,3 apg
i shall start with the numbers. at 27pts 6rebs and 6 ast this season he is in the company of jordan, west, and oscar robertson. he shut down carmelo tonight and was 2 assists shy of a triple double. lebron gets better every year and after takin his bum ass team to within one game of the nba finals last year with a 49 point perfomance he has finally in my mind surpassed kobe bryant as the best. they said he couldn't shoot, now he hits jumpers. they said he doesn't play defense well please watch the games, its more than just playing the passing lanes for this guy. he too now guards the best wing guys. 80% from the line now too another place he struggled. they say he's not clutch well let's ask detroit two years ago. he makes his squad better than almost anyone not named wade and paul, and the cavs are even better than them.his team has the second best record in the league and it's all on his back. nobody has had better numbers over the last two years. he does it ALLLLLL. hopefully in 2010 he does it in an nyk jersey.


and no! none of these guys are better than jordan.
peace.love.funk.

BioPic time!

I just got in from watching a special nyc roadshow showing of steven soderbergh's Che. i loved it! the film pinpointed on the cuban revolution and che's unsuccessful revolutionary attempt in bolivia. benecio del toro did a solid job as che. i really enjoyed damian bichir as fidel castro if anything, this film showed the truest essence of a revolutionary. it was hella long but worth every minute. national release is on january 24th so def catch it.

but this had me thinking about my favorite biopics. and with that said here is the list of my top five favorite (not necessarily the best) biopics

quick honorable mention: ray, raging bull, aviator, che (and hopefully in the future "notorious")

5. man on the moon (jim carrey as andy kaufman)
jim carrey's role as andy kaufman was heartfelt and funny. this flick really had me loving and hating andy kaufman. he was a crazy dude. from his wrestling to taxi to beef with david letterman this flick was incredible.

4. selena (jennifer lopez as selena quintanilla perez)
this may be the only role by jennifer lopez that i enjoyed. i remember sneaking into my friend's spanish class just to peep jlo looking all good, dancing and such and to listen to the songs. when i finally watched it, i must say that i loved it. i honestly felt as if i had beef with selena's murderer. not one of the best movies of all time, but best believe i'm still singing bidi bidi bom bom!

3. the last king of scotland (forrest whitaker as idi amin)
yo if you have never heard of idi amin read about him first and then make sure you watch this film. forrest whitaker was on some other shit in this. pardon my french but this flick had me scared for real. whitaker won a well deserved oscar for his role. james mcavoy was also fantastic as in this film. this is one of my favorite movies indeed in the past few years

2. what's love got to do with it (angela bassett as tina turner and laurence fishburne as ike)
angela bassett and laurence fishburne damn near flawless. the fight scenes, the music, tina's redemption all came to life b/c of these talented thesbians. both nominated for oscar's that year, it was an ubelievable film. honestly one of the more memorable films in my mental memory bank.
"eat the cake anna mae!"

and number 1...
malcolm X (denzel washington as malcolm x)
this was a no brainer for me. i remember watching this as a ten year old and really thinking that denzel was the real malcolm. this film probably changed my life b/c of it's portrayal of a positive black man, something that i can't ever remember witnessing on tv or film. outside of mlk there was nobody growing up until this movie. Spike Lee did everything right movie wise. there are some autobiographical slip ups but this movie was perfect for me. it can also boast as being the first and i believe only film that ever led me to tears. when that same cooke comes on before the assassination scene it still gets to me.


hopefully my biopic comes soon and hopefully its not starring nick cannon.
peace.love.funk.

hip hop ain't dead!

hip hop is a definitive part of my generation and for years has been seen everywhere. today we will investigate hip hop's role in film. now a few years back one of my favorite rappers, nas, made the powerful statement stating that hip hop is dead. if it is indeed dead then it's because we have forgotten these great moments in film.
and thus i present to you the top 5 rap in film moments to remember (or forget)

5. straight outta locash from cb4
there couldn't be list with out a moment from cb4. in what i believe to be chris rock's best film. this classic track does it all.


fav line: like to lick it/ like to suck it/take a shit in a bucket -gusto

4. revenge of the nerds
i always thought it was weird that the only reason lamar (black dude) was considered a nerd was because he was gay. it's clear that he and lambda lambda lambda are not nerds after this impressive display. such a memorable moment. cutoff michael jackson jacket and all


notable line: we got booger pressley on the mean guitar, and a rap by little oh me, lamar-lamar

3.straight jackin from bebe's kids
bebe's kids is like the original firm of nas, foxy and az. three nice mc's that straight command attention. these kids rocked the amusement park and the mic at the same time. yo they had a hook, a bridge, combined verse. legit super group.


fav line: Cute little girl but I fight like a man/I even made Iron Mike Tyson say damn!-lashawn

2. top that from teen witch
this was the video that started it all. my homegirl posted this and i must thank her for bringing this priceless memory back into my life. i watched this flick religiously as a child and used to spit this little hook. this is ice cube verses common, jay z vs nas, the bronx vs the bridge all in one. had to be one of the first battle scenes in a movie. and it was on the block too. homegirl with the black hair goes so hard! she really gets in on that first line.


incredible line: supersonic, idiotic disconnected not respected who would ever really wanna go and top that-molly

and number 1
battle scene from house party
one of my favorite films still to date this battle scene to me was probably their best performance of all time including all of their album work. they went so hard at each other, had martin on the ones and two and with gina and momma from baby boy on the side in aww.


this was a truly classic scene. i had to give you a real one. no gag i really liked their rhymes in this one. and i also think that kid took this one
kid's best line: so come with it boy. don't hide your best. cus kid spelled backwards describes your best
play's best line: this microphone wizard.so come on and place your bets. is it gonna be me or eraser head!


hip hop ain't dead son!
peace.love.funk.

why the juice is not loose

so just when you thought it was safe to steal people's memorabilia and get away with it, think again. the juice is loose no more. oj simpson will be going jail for a minimum of about 8 years and up to 33 years,after being charged with multiple felonies. one would have thought oj was a rapper the way was acting. he better holla at john forte and see how johnny boy got that pardon from the pres.

with that said here are the top 5 reasons of why i think the juice is not loose


5. livin in america
there is no way in hell that this man could receive a fair trial in america. everybody and their momma has an opinion whether negative or not about oj's case 14 years ago. it was everywhere. i remember vividly a knicks playoff game being stopped due the bronco chase. it was literally like a sitcom. it had your favorite characters, heroes and villains,( oj and oj) love story between chris darden and marsha clark, a little lovable character (judge ito) our favorite lines and of course comedy relief (kato kaelin). i wonder how many folks on that jury thought that oj was guilty for the murders of nicole and ron. my estimate 99% of them. no chance. the juice got squeezed.

4. open celebration
i've heard this theory from dave chappelle before and maybe he had a good point.


man honestly when the verdict was announced i jumped for joy. mind you a was kid and it was as if we as a community had won something. its sad that we as a people (black folks) felt as we had to celebrate the acquittal of man who was just accused for murder. that should say something about our relationship the justice system. nonetheless you woulda thought that a black president was elected or something. this is the justice system throwing pie in the faces of those who celebrated. splat.

3.showin face
oj is a bold and maybe even dare i say arrogant mofo. if had just been acquitted of murder, my ass would have been on the supreme low. i probably would've left the states for a bit and just disappear. not the juice. freshly squeezed this dude just started wildin. does anyone remember his video to search for the real killer back in the day. and of course the whole "if i did it" nonsense. the juice is spoiled. granted he got setup, oj was on some movie shit. especially with all those cameras around. who rolls up in cribs with guns talking bout gimme my stuff or else. the juice that's who. he is gully and that gulliness caught up to him. thug life

2. he is a poor black man
do we remember that civil case years ago? well if not, know this that case left him liable and in the hole for about 8.5 million dollars and lost countless memorabilia. so in other the words the juice is not caking like that anymore. he couldn't afford a dream team this time around. no more naked gun checks. no more hertz hurdling. just crazy ol orenthal from cali and lest we forget orenthal james is BLACK. im sorry but the justice system hasn't been the most fair of playgrounds for the brothers. he went from juice to orenthal very quickly. black man without that long money, running up on dudes heat in hand ready to pop off on some nino brown shit GO TO JAIL. and guess what orenthal james just caught a bid.


and number 1
johnnie cochran
first off may his soul rest in peace. this man made me want to be a lawyer. yo he quoted frederick douglass in the closing statements. i don't care what the haters say but johnnie was the man . we all remember the glove don't fit, and he putting the hat on but it was his consistent eloquence and confidence that made him better and who will forget his reaction after the not guilty verdict. straight passion.


long way since nordberg.
peace.love.funk.

top 5 make some love to munchies!

so i am at the supermarket yesterday with my homegirl admiring the beautiful goodies of our neighborhood shoprite when the question comes about. what are your favorite packaged snacks. it got pretty intense and the goods went flying!

as a person who often suffered from the case of the munchies due some odd activity back during the college years.one could only imagine how tough this was for a brother. so tough i had to break them down by category.

but with that said i present to you the "top 5 make some love to munchies" list


number 5 (emergency)
hot dog buns
this starts the list because we originally get the munchies because there's no real food around. so all you have is what you see. and sometimes all i saw was hot dog buns and ketchup or hot dog buns and mayo. or hot dog buns and whatever! you could substitute hot dog buns for hamburger buns, white bread, wheat bread if your moms was up on that. but as a bachelor who hadn't gone shopping in a minute, open my fridge and you will find cream cheese, mayo, ketchup and you guessed it hot dog buns!

number 4 (chocolate bar)
baby ruth
so many to choose from but only one bar has my heart. i'm talking chocolate covered peanuts,caramel, nougat. so intense. a king size will fill you up and send you packing. close to a snickers but to me just a bit better. this bar was my baby indeed! i made sweet love to that nougat!


number 3 (chips)
dipsy doodles
So many to choose from but one rises to the top. part of the reason i chose this was because it was an original chip that i could get for 25 cents. automatic disqualification if i don't ever remember your 25 cents version. the wide ridges and just amount of salt was perfect.we are talking about after school all you have is 50 cents. You are going quarter water and dipsy doodles. for dessert the rich kids would get an ice pop let it melt and voila! the original value meal. check out that see through feature!

number 2 (boxed item sweet)
little debbie snack cakes
this was extremely difficult to choose from. i was originally going to go with crunch and munch right here but i decided to stick with item that i was SERIOUSLY addicted to. by addicted i mean finishing a box in a matter of hours. just strap the snack to me by iv. i need more! they were as simple as the name. chocolate.yellow cake chocolate. more yellow cake and chocolate. dear lord! i've never had anything better. i am surprised that these things didn't give me diabetes. they barely sell em anymore probably because kids were fiends and pullin a tyrone biggum for those cakes.

number 1
ritz (original only)
in my mind the king of munchies is ritz. by far the most versatile of all. you've seen the back of the box. they put everything from cucumber to peanut butter to chicken on there. here's a true scenario: you are starving there's nothing but a few strips of coldcuts. 2 slices of american cheese. 2 slices of boar's head ham. 1 slice of salami and half a slice of turkey. what is one to do? go to the pantry and grab that last stack/sleeve of ritz and say goodnight!! the champ is here and they are in a red box.

just eat it!
peace.love.funk.

flyest five dead or alive!

a conversation sparked up at work about the top five flyest celebrities. these empty convos dominate offices everywhere so i know that i'm not alone on this. but in retrospect i think what would have been my answers at say uhhhhhh 13 years old (give or take a wonder year or two)

we present MRJEFFDESS's "top five hottest celebrities of my youth"

number 5.
the argument about the cuter sister was never an argument to me. ashley banks hands down. not little tevin cambell ashley. i'm talking pop sensation will as her manager ashley. yes sir! not mention this sister has a degree from harvard. mind ya business, just mind ya business!



number 4.
zaria. nuff said. for a show who's most memorable character was probably a fat man named wendall. regan gomez preston was immaculate! when she did her little comeback in trois and the critically acclaimed carmen hip hopera, acting all sultry! i looked at her in a new light and if you haven't peeped her king magazine layout lookout http://www.king-mag.com/03sept-oct/RGP.html
number 3
i so wanted to the cool black high schooler in la. sharing a locker with lisa. eating at the max with lisa. snuffing screech for his crazy looks. her parents were doctors. i would of been living the high life. a young man can only dream. lark voorhies is still fly

number 2.
here's my underrated, on the low pick. once again the only sister on a non colored cast. she stood out on the show and in my heart. i had the only crush on angela from boy meets world. i hated that she was dating this low down two timing trailer park...sorry got a little carried away. but anyways i had to be her biggest fan. im talking pictures, emailing the trina mcgee davis fan club the whole nine. then i found that she was married with like 3 kids or something and about 10 years older then me. bubble burst! she helped this boy meet his world. makes no sense? oh well that was her effect on me.

and finally number 1
there can only be one original crush. i loved her after she whooped vanessa. i loved her after she made that gordon gatrell shirt. i even loved her after she dropped out of college. hey even after her marriage and the unfortunate introduction martin and olivia i loved denise huxtable. then she got all odd and old and slowly fell down my love lockdown ladder. but there was an original queen of crush and that was lisa bonet. we all know that at one time we wanted to be at the door talking to cliff waiting for denise to come down those stairs. i know i was!who's in your five?
peace.love.funk.

Welcome to the List, wait what just happened?

good day brothers and sisters!

let me be the first to welcome to the a brand new world of funk and awe. you are now about to bear witness to the newest phenomenon on this lovely thing we call the interweb. yes indeed welcome to the MRJEFFDESS WORLDWIDE LISTINGS!

in essence we will be discussing the good, the bad and the funky. (in list form of course)

we will begin this journey with our first list, the top 5 “wait what just happened” moments of recent times.

number 5
so wait 31 pounds of liquid cocaine gets you how much jail time? 14 years!! what’s gonna happen to my fledgling music career? what will wyclef do without my beats son? carlye help a brother out! (7 years later) So here’s the list of bush’s pardons. is that my name? YES!!! wait what just happened?
JOHN FORTE= FREEDOM. CONGRATS ON BEING 1 OF THE 14 PARDONED BY DEAR OLD G-DUB II

number 4
Team A: so we don’t want you but we’re gonna keep you around. Player $$: i’m in the best shape though, but who cares i hate you too. gimme my money! Team A: hey we just traded half the team, we need you, do you wanna play? Player $$: Nope! go to hell, I thought you were going into another direction. gimme my money! Team A: you suck!! you’re suspended!! and still on the team!! wait what just happened?
STEPHON MARBURY STILL A KNICK!! WHY????

number 3
Lady: so you’re not qualified for this job. Dude: you are all about old washington. Lady: you are naïve about foreign policy. Dude: you are not about change. ( primary and general election victories later) Lady: i love your swag. Dude: i love your style. wait what just happened?
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN NOW INTRODUCING OUR NEW SECRETARY OF STATE, HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON

number 2
so teammate Latin Quarter is crazy tonight? i know we have a game coming up this weekend but poppin these bottles is what’s up! hey man do you want a shot? don’t worry i got it let me just itch my leg. BANG!!!!!!! wait what just happened?
FEEL BETTER PLAXICO BURRESS AND GOODNIGHT! go giants! (w/o you)

and finally number 1
Location: Green Acres Mall. Patron 1: so i’m gonna push whoever gets in my way of this plasma tv. Patron 2: you know what, i’m gonna kick you in the chest just to get my hands on that ipod. Patron 3: hey i don’t care if a pregnant woman jumps in front of me i need to gets me a laptop. Patron 4: i got you all beat, even though i have no money, i am willing to kill a man and sell my soul for that new blackberry! wait what just happened?
IN ALL SERIOUSNESS MAY YOU REST IN PEACE BROTHER Jdimytai Damour, killed by crazed shoppers over some bullshit sales. black friday indeed.

peace.love.funk.